Daniel's Personal


In 7th grade, I took to the stage and performed in my first school show. I literally had no idea what I was doing. But I made new friends and enjoyed it. Today, I have performed in a bunch of WTC productions, each one being better than the last. For my personal, with the help of Tal Etedgi, I chose to perform this humorous monologue from the play "Boy's Life" by Howard Korder to illustrate how humor is evident in my life.

PHIL: I would have destroyed myself for this woman. Gladly. I would have eaten garbage. I would have sliced my wrists open. Under the right circumstances, I mean, if she said, "Hey, Phil, why don't you just cut your wrists open?" Well, come on, but if seriously... We clicked, we connected on so many things, right off the bat, we talked about God for three hours once. I don't know what good it did, but that intensity... and the first time we went to bed, I didn't even touch her. I didn't want to, understand what I'm saying? And you know, I played it very casually, because, all right, I've had some rough experiences, I'm the first to admit, but after a couple weeks I could feel we were right there, so I laid it down, everything I wanted to tell her, and... and she says to me, she says... "Nobody should ever need another person that badly." Do you believe that? "Nobody should ever...!" What is that? Is that something you saw on TV? "Need, need," I'm saying I love you, is that so wrong? Is that not allowed anymore? (Pause.) And so what if I did need her? Is that so bad? All right, crucify me, I needed her! So what! I don't want to be by myself, when I'm by myself I feel like I'm going out of my mind, I do. I sit there, I'm thinking forget it, I'm not gonna make it through the next ten seconds. I just can't stand it. But I do, somehow, I get through the ten seconds, but then I have to do it all over again, cause they just keep coming, all these... Seconds, floating by, while I'm waiting for something to happen, I don't know what, a car wreck, a nuclear war or something, that sounds awful but at least there'd be this instant when I'd know I was alive. Just once. Cause I look in the mirror, and I can't believe I'm really there. I can't believe that's me. It's like, my body, right, is the size of, what, the Statue of Liberty, and I'm inside it, I'm down in one of the legs, the gigantic hairy leg, I'm scraping around inside my own foot like some tiny fetus. And I don't know who I am or where I'm going. And I wish I'd never been born. (Pause.) Not only that, my hair is falling out, and that really sucks.